2020 - The Best One Yet!

While this year has been loaded with challenges and setbacks, I have no intention of giving attention to an enemy. The [it that shall not be named] caused a lot of illness and fear globally, but there is a much greater enemy at war – and an even greater Savior! 

 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father… (Matthew 10:28-29) 

 “Apart from the will of your Father…” But do I trust the will of the Father? Or do I put my trust in humans, in media, in myself? 

This year for me has been all about trust. People who broke my trust, broke their promises, broke my heart. But it’s more so about the One who - even if the mountains fall (I mean, imagine this) and the people we trusted most betray us – He REMAINS. He remains. Unmoved. Unchanged. And we can therefore be unscathed. I put my Trust in Him, and that’s why I can stand, shout, dance, and bless the year 2020…because truly I have been so spoiled in My Father’s Blessings! 

My highlight of the year was my birthday, September 10th 2020, the day I turned 34 years old. A day I will truly never forget. The girls planned (with the help of Amelia and Hannah, our interns) a surprise for me, and they transformed our multipurpose room into a banquet hall. They blindfolded me and led me to the room and when I opened my eyes, I nearly cried. It looked like a wedding feast. They led me to the “head table” where there were signs and balloons. Their tables were to my right and my left, as if they were in my wedding party. The tables made a wide horseshoe shape to encompass a “performance area” where they then proceeded to take turns performing songs, dances, and speeches – all for me. I was so embarrassed to be the center of such concentrated attention. The smile never left my face or heart, and I think I have a permanent wrinkle line from my smile now. (No, it’s not because I’m getting old. ;P ) 

 I felt the Lord’s presence and joy over me like never before. I really felt like HE had planned this to look like a wedding, to remind me I am worthy and desirable and deeply cherished. That He is my Husband, and He will celebrate me as much (and more) as a real husband should/would. I bless God for my year of singleness, the decision I made early this year with a grumbling heart and a bit of Irish flare as I frowned at God and crossed my arms telling him, No, I don’t want to give that up again. But how can you say No to the King of Kings, and the Father who chooses me over and over again when I don’t deserve it? Of course I said, Yes, fine, take it. I’ll be single, not because I want to, but because I want to be obedient. 

 And WOW, obedience unlocks the greatest blessings! You know, people all over the world bless me, a lot of times because I am single and I have needs that aren’t being provided for. They see me, and God moves in ways in so many different people to remind me the He IS enough. And I can be single and still be taken care of, as a lady should be. 

 In addition to the blessing of feeling like it was my wedding, tears streamed down my cheeks to see not just the room transformed, but the girls themselves transformed!!!! 

 One of the girls, “Vanessa” has never sang a solo before. She chose my birthday to be the one day and place she debuted her beautiful voice. She is normally shy and giggles when she is in front of people. The attention makes her so uncomfortable. But this girl – it was like the spirit of God swept over her – she closed her eyes and forgot where she was. “I will make room for You…” she sang her heart out to God. And I cried. To see the fruit of my previous tears and labor for this girl was the greatest present I could have ever gotten. 

Oh, and they got me presents, too! They had saved money and pooled their change together to buy me my favorite chips (I had NO idea they knew what flavor I loved!), a 2 liter of Coke (they know I am addicted :P), and DARK chocolate! One girl wrote: “You know how to bring light to the dark, to see light where there is none. I think that’s why you love dark chocolate so much. You’re made for the dark, to bring light!” They spoiled me rotten for a whole week of my birthday! They read Proverbs 31 over me and blessed me in my love language (words of affirmation) and washed my feet and gave me a massage (my second love language, physical touch), and I didn’t even know they knew all that! 

But one moment really made me want to weep (in a good way). Lucia took the stage, her turn to perform for my birthday, and her sweet, innocent, charming 8 year old voice sang, “The Spirit of the Lord is here. The evidence is all around…” 

I stared in awe, as she took me back to a place and time ten years earlier. Before she was formed in the womb of her mother – my daughter whom I love like my own flesh and blood - God knew this day would come. The moment she was born 8 years ago, HE knew this day she would be singing her heart out to Him, “Overflow in this place, fill our hearts with your love, your Love surrounds us!” 

She sang with such conviction and meaning. I loved the Lord more fully in that moment. I felt his Love more fully in that moment. His Presence filled the room like an ever increasing balloon, and took us all to a place of heaven – where nothing but smiles and joy and awe surround us. And I trusted again. My walls of self-protection and anti-betrayal, self-will and my-way-or-the-highway crumbled into his Hands, like clay falling apart to be molded again. I can trust Him. He knows. The evidence is all around. 

2020 tested my trust and made me a better version of myself than I’ve been in seemingly a long time. I embrace 2021 with open arms, with much anticipation and excitement, with plans but surrender attached to them, and with a deep, abiding trust in the One who never fails. To God be the glory, forever and ever, amen!