Make a Wish

“Make a wish!” They cheered me on before I could take a bite of a scrumptious bouquet of handmade, handfrosted cake pops.

“A real wish!” TJ, our case manager, interjected right as I was about to indulge. How did she know I was cheating and didn’t really make any wish ‘cause I just wanted to take a bite?

“Just one?” I joked. I thought about the pilot and the helicopter ride. I thought about my perfect man. I thought about asking for a husband in the next year of life. I thought about the Toyota Fortuner, 7-seater vehicle I’ve been wanting, I thought about the places I’ve visited this year and the dreams that came true with my travel and adventure desires. All of it was wonderful. All of it will be wonderful if I ask for it. But in that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than just one thing.

It’s You, I whispered to my Prince. It’s always been You. I just want You.

With a wink to the “audience” that was waiting for me, I took a bite and tasted heaven. I mean like seriously. I have never tasted something so wonderful in all my life. (Thanks, Hannah, for the homemade cake pops!)

 This year has by far held some of the highest highs and unfortunately also the lowest lows. My physical and mental health have both taken quite a beating this year. I’m used to the spiritual battles by now, but this has been all out war. Like Trojan Horse, sneaky, slimy, hit-you-when-you’re-already-down kind of blows. But those stories are for another day. 

This year has also held some of the most breath-taking moments of my life. Dreams I’ve had that I NEVER thought would get fulfilled were dropped in my lap this year. Felt like anytime my enemy would throw something at me, my Father would counter it. Like, “Oh you wanna do that to my daughter? Watch this, Sucka!” 😉

“Watch This” I sure did! I saw with my own two eyes some of the most famous sites in the world! After a conference in Spain, my beloved friends who lived with me my first year in Swazi in 2010-11 were getting married in Scotland, so I stayed after the conference and traveled Europe to “kill time” until the wedding. One of my best friends Hannah flew out and joined me for our once-in-a-lifetime trip! I enjoyed France WAY more than I thought I would. LOVED the food. Lol. Adored our stay in Paris, and enjoyed, among many other things, a sunset boat cruise near the lit-up Eiffel Tower, went UP to the TOP of the Eiffel Tower, and went to Versailles Palace.

Hannah and I also spent time in Frankfurt, Germany, where we had a really hard time finding “brats” until we were finally corrected (with annoyance) that we were actually looking for “bratwurst.” Our Wisconsin bad. In Spain, I enjoyed three different cities, Alicante, Madrid, and Barcelona. Unfortunately, Barcelona was freezing and rainy. We had to ask our hostel front desk for a heater, of which they were first shocked and second, annoyed. (Hey, just because it was “spring” there doesn’t discount that we were from the African heat.) 

My favorite location by far was Italy. I could go back and spend the whole two weeks just in Italy. One night we wandered into a live street concert which was fantastic! The food was incredible, one of my favorites was a wine-tasting and charcuterie board with the sweetest Italian lady who had no problem making sure we drank more than necessary! We enjoyed walking (several times) The Floating City, Venice, and also seeing it from a gondola. We of course spent plenty of time in cathedrals and basilicas where I had some incredibly intimate moments with Jesus.  But one of my favorite locations was the Roman Colosseum. If anyone’s read Francine Rivers’ Mark of the Lion series, it was like I could relive it. Terrifyingly marvelous. Such a blood-soaked place of Christian martyrs of our past is now home to the Head of the Church around the world. 

That was the trip of a lifetime, right?! Crazy thing is, that wasn’t the end of my adventures this year! Prior to covid, my friend Kellye and I had planned and prebooked a southern African tour, crossing multiple countries in one trip. Four years later, post-covid, we finally took our trip and added two friends, my brother and Hannah! Multiple stops in Botswana included seeing wild elephants and giraffes along the rode side, camping out in the Salt Pans with just a sleeping bag and the MOST miraculous sky of stars I’ve ever seen in all my life. It still is my favorite experience, seeing nothing but stars from horizon to horizon, like a dream. Hiking Victoria Falls was breathtaking and we even captured the rainbow! But the best view and exhilarating experience was the helicopter ride over the Falls! (And the pilot was breathtaking, too, hehe). One of my longtime dreams came true and I got to touch, feed, brush and elephant named Themba, and he also kissed me. 

Imagine all of that in one year? Pinch me, am I still alive?  And yet… all of that… can’t compare to God. I think these highs of the year are going to stay the best highlights of my life, and I’ll relive them as much as possible. But that’s all I can do. Relive them in my memories. The thing about moments of ecstasy like these, they can’t produce the same pleasure after the experience is over. Joy yes, but pleasure is felt in the moments and pleasure therefore doesn’t last. But He does. His Love lasts. His provision lasts. His blessings last. His happiness is the kind that lasts. 

And that’s why when I was asked to make just ONE wish…all I could think of was Him. He spoiled me this year when my heart felt trampled on. He provided for me in ways I wasn’t being otherwise cared for. He saw my vulnerability and my weakness and instead of taking advantage of it called it Blessed. In one of my most difficult years yet, the valley after the mountaintop, He has been my reason to not give up. Oh, how could I ever want anything more? Only Jesus.

My armor is cracked

But you’re still standing, kid

I’m too tired to walk

But you’re still standing

My heart is too heavy for my chest

But you’re still standing

My weapons are broken

But you’re still standing

I’m weak and afraid

But you’re still standing

 

It’s not as bad as it seems, Beloved,

Because you’re still standing

-1 Cor 15:58

Ah, yes…this is why I follow Jesus.

He’s not just the Prince of Peace,

He’s the prince of me
I’ve enjoyed the world, but it couldn’t fill me
the way you love me Lord
There is no compare, nothing that trumps You
You are, you were, you will always be
More than enough for me
You are my Husband, my Redeemer, my Master, my Best Friend