That Man Took My Life

This may be just a story to you, but this is a precious life to me.  She doesn't want to share her name, but she said I could share her story (words in brackets are mine):

One day I was coming from school with one of my friend. A man came and ask us a way to Moneni. When I show him the way, he hold my hands and force me in the bush. My friend ran away.
The man took my exercise books [note books] and make them a bed. He rape me on top of my school exercise books. ... The man have STI's [no HIV] I found out myself. My body was weak so I ask my teacher what is wrong when a person feel this and this in her body. She told me that it when the person have STIs so that mean I have STIs. I got it that day and I did not tell my mother because it make me feel like I'm nothing and no one care about me. 

[Years later she still suffers with the pain of this memory, especially since school books are a part of the nightmare...] At school...I sometime see the man taking my exercise books and I will go to sit at the toilet so that I will not see his face. 

[People who know what happened] will look at me as if I'm die.
That man took my life he took my happiness, my pride and every things away from me. 

This doesn't have to be the end of the story for her and for so many others like her.  Show them there's hope and healing by supporting the operating costs of Hope for Life Home, projected to open February, 2013, for sexually and physically abused and at-risk girls in Swaziland. Visit www.hoseasheart.org to donate or for more information.

The World is not Meant for You

"The world is not meant for you."

Her own mother told her she shouldn't even be alive.

The seemingly joyful reunion between Tenele and her real mother turned bitter while I was in Swazi over Thanksgiving break.  It was Lucia's first birthday, so we were going to celebrate together at Tenele's homestead with her mother and sisters.  When we (Christina, Ayanda, Johannes, Pununu, and I) got there, Tenele met us on the dirt road to walk us to her homestead.  Her eyes were tired and she gave a weak greeting; I immediately knew something was wrong.  After greeting her friends, she broke down in tears.  Pununu translated for me since Tenele wasn't speaking in English.  "Family problems," he said to me.  The walk to the homestead was confusing, as Tenele continued to cry but wouldn't tell me what was going on.  She finally said her mother told her "the world is not meant for you" and it'd be better if she were gone.

Instead of a joyful birthday celebration, the afternoon was one of chaos as I tried to communicate with Tenele's mother (who spoke not even a word of English) about what was going on.  While we tried desperately to communicate, Tenele's sobs could be heard from the other room, and I felt so helpless.  Finally, I asked the sister who spoke some English (but refused to translate because she told her mom she didn't want to be in the middle of it and was trying to stick up for Tenele), "Should we leave?"  The sister nodded hesitantly and said, "And take Tenele with you."

Tenele's mother tried keeping Lucia there and told Tenele since Tenele owed money that she would keep Lucia.  When her mother found out I understood that, she changed her mind.  She only let Tenele take one bag of stuff (which was all Lucia's) and kept Tenele's clothes there.  It was a heartbreaking end to my short week in Swazi.

On the bus ride back into Manzini, Ayanda relayed the whole story to me and said, "Her mother has a cold heart for her; I don't want Tenele to go back."  Apparently, Tenele was having a hard time living there when her mother would care for her sisters and not as much for Tenele.  They ended up getting into a fight one day and Tenele asked through tears, "Why don't you love me like your other children?"  Her mother cold-heartedly responded, "You are not my child.  You are a whore," and continued to tell her she was worthless and the world was not meant for her.

After it was all over, I told Tenele she was a strong young woman who has been through so much time and time again.  She looked at me still with tears in her eyes but peace in her heart and said, "Some day she'll remember me... some day."

After all that was said to her and all the pain (built up from when Tenele was sent away as a small child) Tenele still had the grace to understand that she wasn't going to harbor bitterness but that she knew someday her mother would understand what she has done to Tenele and the guilt would be there, and she'd "remember" (care).

So back to square one with my T-bell and baby Lucia.  Where do they stay now?  I tried asking a few Swazi friends to help them out but nobody seems to want to sacrifice for a teenager and her baby.  There's a lot of "talk" about caring for each other and being the hands and feet of Jesus but little action.  I was quite heartbroken actually at the lack of care from my own Swazi friends who don't want to inconvenience themselves by letting Tenele stay with them for awhile.

So she is back in Mangwaneni, and Cedric (Lucia's father and who Tenele usually stays with) is in prison.  Christina has been trying to care for them, but even the food she had given to Tenele was stolen.  Tenele said she's scared sometimes because she doesn't know where the food will come from.  She doesn't know when she and Lucia will be able to eat.  Lucia got sick again, had worms, and a bad skin condition.  Tenele, out of desperation told Ayanda she doesn't want Lucia anymore and wants to send her away--not because she doesn't love her, but out of her desperate situation.

Through all of this, Tenele has been so steady though; when I talked to her on Christmas, she was hopeful, and that is a beautiful thing.  Because she is hopeful so am I; I know she will be okay; I know God will take care of her; I know she will still change the world someday.

 Her mother was right, the world is not meant for her, because she is meant for bigger things than the world.

Happy Thanksgiving from Swazi

Happy Thanksgiving from Swazi!

Obviously they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Swaziland, or any other country for that matter.  So the whole rule of thumb that you can't celebrate Christmas before Thanksgiving is non-existent.  Santa Claus has been planted in the local grocery store for weeks and you can hear Christmas music every once in awhile.  Christina and I did our best to stay away from any Christmas spirit until after today, when we finally celebrated Thanksgiving.  I love this holiday; it's kind of like Valentine's Day in the respect that what we celebrate on these holidays (love and being thankful) are what we should live every day, but I still think they are days worthy of setting aside some extra love and thanks!  Being away from family is hard on holidays, but for this one I was home. 

The Thanksgiving day started like any other Thursday.  Christina and I got groceries for our big dinner in the morning and then we headed to Enjabulweni to collect letters and deliver grade 7's letters.  Of course the other students hadn't written letters back yet, and when I delivered grade 7's letters, I realized I was about 20 letters short.  The names the head teacher had given me were only half of the students in his class! Eish!  But, like loaves in fishes, we multiplied letters by changing names of some that were doubles (because originally my students outnumbered the ones at Enjabulweni).  The students' faces were so priceless, seriously.  They way they held the envelopes and letters so tenderly made it look like they were holding treasure.  In fact, many of the students call them “love letters.” 

After Enjabulweni I took Tenele and Ayanda on a long walk up to the local prison (remand center) where Cedric was staying.  Apparently, Cedric had been selling cell phones and one customer wouldn't pay him properly so Cedric took the phone back.  The customer called the police and they arrested Cedric for stealing.  Of course, that's the story I got from Tenele's angle, so I don't really know the full story.  Anyway, we went to visit him and brought baby Lucia, his daughter, with.  When she looked at him and heard his voice, she lit up with her gorgeous toothy grin.  After a little while she kept crying and Cedric tenderly said, “Lucia, don't cry.  Daddy's coming.  Don't cry.”  Upon hearing his voice again, she calmed down a little.  Clearly, she recognizes and loves her daddy and he cares for her, too.  He has made the trip out once to visit Tenele's homestead where she stays with her real mother and sisters.  It's great that Cedric is making the effort to stay connected and involved in his daughter's life.  I know being in prison doesn't give a very good picture of Cedric, but I really believe he is also starting to become a changed man.  Tenele snuck in to see Cedric with me, because she actually can't see him without an ID; but the policeman inside the cell building was kind and let Tenele stay with us.  

We said our goodbyes and Cedric gave his appreciation and we started the walk back into town.  I was exhausted at this point but excited to cook a feast!  Christina and I were about to embark on a journey we had never taken before: cooking a turkey!  We bought a beast of a turkey at the grocery store to feed the ten plus people for dinner that night.  It was a wonderful three hours of cooking; yes, wonderful!  Ayanda also helped us in the kitchen, as we created the feast of turkey, cheesy mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, corn, and puppy chow!  The greatest reward was sitting at the long table with all of our guests (including Betty, Mzie, Ryan, Majabani, a few others, and of course Tenele, Ayanda, and baby Lucia!) and hearing their surprised complements of how wonderful the food tasted.  I was shocked myself at how delicious the turkey tasted!

As I sat at that table I couldn't help but laugh with amazement at God's goodness of those surrounding me, especially 1) Christina and 2) my kids. 

1)                  Christina amazes me; her utter devotion to God and her spirit of abandonment in following him to Swazi, sacrificing more than I could begin to write, is overwhelmingly inspiring.  She is adored by her housemates, her coworkers, the MYC boys, our kids, her family, and of course me!  What a blessing to be able to be in Swaziland to celebrate a day of thanks for her, to give her a taste of home, and support her in all the incredible work she is doing!  Y'all should follow her year in Swazi at: www.christinahealingheart.blogspot.com.

2)                  The time I've had with my kids so far feels like I never left them.  Though Lucia was afraid of me initially, she finally warmed up to me.  When she cries, I pick her up and sing her our song (Siyahamba “We are walking in the light of God”) and she literally stops crying every time.  It's crazy!  Even today, she was getting really fussy, so I simply put her on my hip and hummed around the kitchen as we cooked the turkey and other food.  She was seemingly at home on my hip. :)

It amazes me that God has put these special young ones in my life, not for me to change their lives but for them to change mine.  I have learned so much about myself through them.  They cry and hurt when I am gone, but they don't know that I can't live without them.  The longer I stay away from them, the more the breath inside of me slowly drains.  The way that God has renewed Tenele is still like a dream to me; I see a miracle every time I look at her and the way she tenderly cares for her baby girl.  They are wise and they make me a better person; they challenge me and they read me like a book.  Ayanda simply reads my facial expressions and knows exactly what I'm thinking; it's almost too spot on!  In the car ride the other day, Johannes, Ayanda, Christina, and I were talking about trust in relations to specific experiences in our lives.  I told them I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship if I didn't trust the person, and to make a long story short and keep the conversation confidential, basically Ayanda blurted out, “Mary-Kate, you are in a dilema.” “What?” I said surprised.  “Someone broke your trust and you're putting up a wall; you say you don't trust this person, but you trusted _____ with *this.  You can't go with your mind even if your heart is hurt.”   Johannes proceeded to claim Ayanda as the winner of what turned into an argument about whether or not you could/should be in a relationship with someone you can't trust.  Needless to say, I learn something from them every day, and I could not have asked the Lord for a bigger blessing than these sweet ones he has given me!

With a thankful heart!

Longest Week: Day Two and Three

Monday morning started with a lovely reunion at Enjabulweni!  I went to deliver letters that my students back the in States had written to their pen pals.  Unfortunately, it was actually the worst week for me to try to deliver letters because the students are writing exams this week, which means they don't actually have class.  So, it was quite a mess trying to deliver letters to the students, but the looks on their faces and the excited exchange of letters among themselves was so priceless.  They especially loved seeing pictures that the students sent them.  They passed pictures back and forth to one another and read their letters over and over again.  What a priceless gift!

After Enjabulweni, Christina and I eagerly stopped for our date at Baker's Corner and indulged in consuming some donuts. After our absolutely necessary pit stop, we swung by the house and picked up Ryan to head to the girls' home.  The progress of renovations was actually much further than I had thought, but there is still SO much work to do!  It was so great to see the difference, though, and the best part was looking at all the land!  The land we have at the house is massive!  We are going to have gardens upon gardens of room for growing food.  Even without the garden, we have food already growing on our land: a mango tree, a papaya tree, an orange tree, and a grape vine!  Incredible!

After the girls home trip, Tenele and Baby Lucia came to the house, and I took her to the clinic.  She was quite malnourished when I first saw her and wouldn't even smile.  She had a large head for her thin, frail shoulders and body.  But after the clinic visit, we went to the grocery store and got some food and nourished her back up to health.  By the next day, she was a completely new baby!  She was smiling and giggling nonstop and cuddling up to her mommy.  It was SO precious.  And her cute little baby teeth are just darling!

On Tuesday, Christina and I met with Laurence, the maintenance man who is overseeing the work on the girls home, and we set up a plan for the week.  I interviewed Christina for Hosea's Heart promotional videos, and I met with Lungile, who is a past student of mine.  Lungile stole my heart from the beginning of the year when I taught at Enjabulweni.  She is extremely smart and a dedicated worker. She could do BIG things with her life; unfortunately, she has been out of school for the past year because she cannot afford to pay for it.  In fact, when I saw her this summer, my heart broke because she looked like the life had been sucked out of her...and it had.  She had a black eye and refused to tell me how she got it.  I prodded her when I met with her on Tuesday; yet, she remained very locked up, which is not like her at all.  She agreed to do an interview for us, and she told the camera about her life.  "Life is difficult without parents..." she started, and gazed off into the distance with dreary eyes.  She began to cry.  "I don't have hope," she managed to say.  It was absolutely shattering to hear her say that--to hear it come from the mouth that told me "Mary-Kate, since you come to teach me English, I seen a lot of changes. You bring hope to everyone."  I reminded her that it's not me who has the hope to give, but I just have the message to share!  And that she still can have hope, even though she doesn't feel it now.  I want to find a way to pay for her school fees and get her back into school starting in January... Anybody want to sponsor her? And let her know SHE CAN HAVE HOPE!