Journal Entry 2-12-18
Oh the
agony. The anger. I was bitter, burdened, a bomb waiting to explode. I chose Christ,
but this cross is too heavy. Let it be a symbol of Victory, not a source of
pain. I suffer. I ache. I cry. I fear. Then You say, “Arise, and do not be afraid.”
A
lighthouse. Waves crashing against it. Satan incited the sea to war against the
stone platform of the lighthouse. No storm, no amount of rain, no force of a hurricane
can stop the light. The lighthouse shines on, for the Builder’s glory. The Builder’s
heart. The hear that desires every ship to reach safely home. The Builder uses
the lighthouse every night and day, to bring her home. Her, the wanderer. The
wanton heart, the wanting heart. She lands her ship but never stays long. Too
safe. Too many memories. Too confusing. She sets off again and again but no
matter how far out she gets, she can never bury the light. No matter how many
left turns, the light is always in the distance, showing her that she can make
it right.
The
Builder climbs the tower every night, searching for the lost ship. Those on the
island think he’s gone mad. But he continues to search anyway. He continues to
fix the lighthouse when it starts to wear and tear. When it gets tired of
disappointment and wants to keep the light for itself. The Builder always makes
it stronger.
Jesus, I
am that lighthouse. You are the Builder. Fix me that I may shine for you.
Remembering that it’s not about me or her, but about your heart for us.
Complete
the work you have started in me for her. Bring it to completion and let me rejoice
with you at her homecoming.
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