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“Mama,
are you okay? Have you been crying?”
Indeed,
my eyes held a pool of tears. A drop of sweat simultaneously fell down the side
of my face along my jawbone.
“No, no,”
I rubbed my swelled up, puffy eye and the pooled tears streamed down my cheek.
“Well, maybe this is my body’s way of crying about this heat though!” I wiped
my eyebrow which had started glistening with sweat as well.
“Aw, shem. Sorry Mom. Yeah, I can see your
eyes are swollen again. And wow you really do sweat a lot!”
“And
it’s only 7:30 in the morning!”
I remember in high school when I played basketball, my
face would get red and I’d sweat a lot. In fact, it was so much that my friends
started calling it the “drip drips.” I would be lined up for a free throw and
drops of sweat would drip from the hair tucked behind my ears to the floor. I
used to think that was the most I could ever sweat. I was wrong.
My first week back to Swazi I experienced a shock I’ve
never had before: heat without
electricity. I had moved from the city to my new house on the girls home
property just 3 days before I was Stateside for my 3 month furlough. So, I
hardly “lived” in it until I came back.
But it is now in the heart of summer. And, coming from
the Wisconsin winter, I was far from prepared to endure heat without air
conditioning, let alone a FAN! Not having electricity also means no cold water.
I mean, can you imagine sweating in the heat and not even being able to drink a
glass of cold water? The water coming out of our faucets are either hot, warm,
or at best gently cool in the evening, but certainly far from cold. No
electricity means no way to keep food cold either. It means no fans – not in
the day and not at night when I’m trying to sleep but can’t because it’s still
90 degrees at midnight. I woke up one morning at 3 a.m. with a pool of liquid on
my pillow – not drool, but sweat. Yuck!
Luckily, though, I didn’t have to go without electricity
for too long as I’ve been able to run a generator for half days and nights. But
even with a fan, this heat has been unbearable. My eyes are still swelling and
I have skin rashes. The bugs are something else, too. Not mosquitos in this
particular area (maybe it’s even too hot for them!), but many other biting bugs
I wish I could go without. I have to wait to shower until evening time when the
water coming out of the pipes is cool (no hot water for showers or baths, but
that’s okay for now because it’s way too hot for that!) so that when I get out
of the shower, I can stop sweating. That’s 9 p.m. Basically I sweat from 7 a.m.
when I rise to 9 p.m. before I go to sleep in front of a fan.
Yet, even with my skin rashes, my swollen eyes, the bug
bites, and the constant sweat, I am so happy. So so happy. After the first week
of intense 100 degree heat, I nearly cried like a toddler throwing a fit
because I just couldn’t handle it. But then I said a prayer, asked others to
pray for me, and decided to change my attitude. There’s no way I can change the
heat, so might as well change my attitude! So instead, I decided to play
basketball with the girls in the 94 degree heat at 5 p.m. If I’m gonna sweat,
might as well do it for a reason! I spend time in my air conditioned car – the
best few minutes of relief! And I have the generator so I can have cold water
and even ice! But my joy is not really about that. There is something deeper,
better, stronger that is anchoring me. I am full. My cup is full and
overflowing! I am ME!
My 3 month furlough started out rough, but the second
half was a dream come true. I remember waking up one morning, opening my eyes
and being filled with a sense of satisfaction I haven’t felt in a long, long
time. I smiled, put my toes on my carpeted bedroom floor and said, “Kate’s
back!”
It’s a feeling I cannot describe, but one I never want to
lose again. Genuine joy. Gratefulness for the small things. A sense of loving
myself again. I remember last year thinking and even telling others that I
already feel bad for my future husband – poor guy, he’d have his hands full
marrying a girl like me in a ministry like this! But now? Whoever he is, he is
a lucky fella if he happens to win my heart and to be counted in among the
strong hearts of this Hosea family.
When I left the States, I was full and fully me again. I
had spent time and time and time again with family and friends who filled me. I
got to live with my parents for 3 months, which at first was a bit of a
challenge and adjustment, but was undoubtedly my greatest blessing. My mom and
dad are my pillars, and they spoiled me with love, encouragement, and blessing.
Telling me over and over how great it was to have me home and how hard it is to
watch me leave again. I also have the most remarkable friends. You know it’s
true what they say about choosing your friends wisely. I somehow happened to
have the best women in the world to circle and support me. When I came home
from some visits with friends in different cities, my mom could even see a
visible difference. “You are so blessed to have friends like that,” she’d tell
me. “I can see how much they fill you.”
And now that I’m back in Eswatini, back in my very first
home, I am still full. 2020 is going to be the best year yet. I know this
because of how it started (and how 2019 ended). I arrived in Eswatini on New
Year’s Eve, and I surprised the girls with a sleepover at our local church. The
screams and the way the ran to greet me was enough love to last a lifetime.
Enough affirmation to know this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Their hugs
were home. And we continued the night with worship that was unlike any other.
We ended 2019 with unity, praise, and love, and we proclaimed goodness yet to
come.
And in the first two weeks of 2020, amazing things already
happened. Two more girls graduated, four girls are now currently in college,
and we will get two more new girls next week! I’ve been able to reconnect with
umntfwana wami and already hosted my friends for our monthly game nights in my
new house (and luckily, it was the coldest day we’ve had thus far)! Lastly, I
have the most amazing nanny who did an incredible job in my absence and
continues to help around the house and with the kids while I adjust to the heat
and bugs.
2020 – My Cup Overflows
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