Mission: To Kill...Me

 “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.  But I have come that you may have life and have it in abundance.”  

-John 10:10

It makes sense now.  Everything.  The physical fighting, the knife-threatening, the exaggerated arguing, the falling asleep during bible study, the fact that I’ve been feeling this month like the girls home is a black hole sucking the life out of me.  Ever since break ended in late January and the girls came back from their homesteads, life at the girls home has been draining, exhausting, disappointing, and full of an undisclosed gloom.  For, unbeknownst to us, one of the girls who had been involved in witchcraft during break brought back with her a power of darkness I thought only existed in movies.  But, as I’ve told my students last year, “What’s done in darkness can only be healed when it’s brought to light”; so, praise be to God that the secret is exposed and the light is piercing this monthly “night.” 

These past few days were by far the most dramatic I’ve ever experienced in all my 28 years.  For some of you, especially Americans who don’t believe or want to acknowledge that there are real forces of evil [demons], you may think I’m crazy because what I’m about to disclose is something that even I thought only happens in movies… except now… this is not a movie, it’s my life.  I hesitated greatly in deciding whether or not to post this blog, but truth is truth, and if there’s one thing I learned from this experience, it’s not to hide.  As I recount an extremely dark experience, I tell you only to proclaim the power of Jesus Christ of Nazareth’s name that we all may rejoice in his victory!  And to encourage any of you who have not yet met this Victor in your life, to invite him into your heart, to set you free and fight your battles for you.  For, in the words of my favorite song, “there is power in the name of Jesus… to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain!”  

A certain girl, Maria (fake name), had been different the moment she returned from her homestead.  She had made such incredible strides in the months leading up to December.  She had been changing and maturing dramatically.  Her prayers would move us to tears and send Holy Spirit chills down our spines.  I became increasingly close to her and found such joy in spending time with her, while others might say she was still hard to love.  But I loved her deeply, with a love that I know was not my own.  So, when she returned from break acting confusingly cold, I knew something was wrong.  There would be a few good days without any problems from her, but those became less and less, and pretty soon I had to have the same talk and discipline for her every day.  A few days ago, it got to the point where I was so fed up with her attitude and the way she was treating people.  There were visitors over at our house and she made a big scene in front of everyone.  I sent her to her room (mostly for me to cool off before I lost my last nerve with her).  Awhile later, I went into her room to yell at her.  She refused to even look at me or acknowledge what I was saying.  Finally, I bellowed, “Maria, who are you?”  I paused and she hung her head.  I continued in frustration, “Where is my Maria?”  A few tears fell from her face.  In a softer voice I finished, pausing between each word, “I…want…her…back.”  She knew that question was loaded, and the tears broke the wall she had built up. 

She crumbled to her knees and started bawling.  I went to her and sat on the bed, holding her head in my lap and letting her cry.  “I’m s-s-s-sorry,” she whimpered in-between cries.  “I-I-I-I-I-I…” she kept repeating and couldn’t finish her thought.  The tears wouldn’t stop. 

“Shhhh,” I tried calming her, as her body was shaking with sobs.  “It’s okay…”

“I-I-I-I-I…” she tried talking again.  I held her and waited.  “I-I-I-I killed someone,” she wept. 

Not expecting those words to come out of a 14 year old, I didn’t know how to respond.  “What?”

“I-I-I killed someone,” she cried so hard. 

“When?” I asked, not knowing why that was my first response.

“2013.” 

There were too many questions whirling through my mind.  It was hard enough to understand her through the sobs, so I kept silent and waited.

“And, Mama Kate, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she continued.  “I-I-I-I killed Tenele’s baby!”  Her cries were so loud that Gogo and Sibussa burst into the room wondering what was going on. When they saw me with Maria they just nodded at left. 

“How?” Now I was getting really confused.  Did she give her abortion pills?  Did she give her poison?  Did Tenele ask Maria to help get rid of the baby?  Surely Maria didn’t kill Tenele’s baby herself; for, Tenele was at Project Canaan when she had the miscarriage and Maria was nowhere near her even a month before that happened. 

“At night time…w-w-w-with my chain…” she started shaking again. 

What is going on? I asked myself.  That doesn’t even make sense!  What chain?  At night time? When? How would a chain kill the baby?  Before I could verbalize any of my thoughts, Maria continued.

“He told me to, he told me!” she wept.

“Who?  Who told you to?”

“Yehovah,” she wailed. 

I was at my wits end.  It sounded like she said “Jehovah,” but I knew she couldn’t be talking about the Lord.  Because I didn’t understand what Maria was saying through her sobs, I did the only thing I knew best: I prayed.

As I prayed she cried harder and harder.  I tried to calm her down and said, “Maria, do you believe that Jesus Christ has power over you?”

“No,” she responded without a moment’s hesitation. 

The moment she uttered “no,” she renounced the power of Christ and by doing so, she gave the darkness permission to take over. 

In that one utterance of “no,” the evil spirits inside of her took over.  Maria’s body flung to the floor as I grabbed her arm, trying desperately to hold onto her body.  “Nooooooo,” she cried as I kept telling her to ask Jesus to set her free.  She pulled herself under the bed, but I was holding on with all my might on her one arm.  With my free hand, I shoved open the door and called for help.  Gogo and four other sisters rushed in and I explained that Maria had demons and I needed help holding her body and praying. 

Within seconds, we had Maria pulled out from under the bed; her lips were quivering and her eyes rolled back into her head and eyelids closed over.  But her body was strong, very strong.  I held her head in my lap and in-between my two hands to protect her from smashing her head on the floor as the spirit inside of her kept whipping her head and neck around.  (For anyone who does not know, when a person’s body is possessed by a demon, it truly is no longer the person but the evil spirit in control.  While a demon is being exorcised, it will attempt to self-destruct the body in anyway or just run away from the people praying, which had happened this this young girl before.) While I braced her head, two sisters were holding each hand and arm and two more were holding her legs.  Gogo stood above us trying to talk to Maria who was not responding.

We started praying.  I prayed, Gogo prayed, the sisters prayed.  It was quiet at first; we were all unsure.  But slowly we got louder.  Slowly, I saw the Holy Spirit overtake two of the sisters in particular who exercised the authority of Jesus Christ of Nazareth over these evil spirits.  One girl in particular is extremely shy, quiet, and very reserved.  This amazing teenager started proclaiming Truth like never before!  She spoke, cried, commanded, and then yelled at the evil spirits.  Her prayers overtook us all. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. She put the Bible over Maria’s heart and that’s when Maria’s body went crazy.  She held the Bible over Maria’s head, and her head whipped violently back and forth trying to turn away from the Bible, and at one point she almost tried to bite it.  This “quiet” sister called, “That’s right! Eat it!  This is your bread!  The word of God is your bread!  You need it!”

Another sister who is exceptionally wise for her age and close to the heart of Christ, commanded the evil spirits to talk and identify themselves (which they did—they gave names), this sister and asked question after question.  During the course of this questioning and praying, we learned of a very, very dark and scary past that Maria had been hiding from us all.  A past of witchcraft, devil worship, and a cult belonging to a “king” they call “yehovah.”  As a part of this cult, they even called it “church,” they are assigned people to kill.  (Obviously, it’s not by Maria’s hand that she kills people, but the spirit at least convinces Maria or these people that they are involved in the deaths of people close to them.)  According to the demon, each person is given a list where they keep the names of people they’ve killed and add names of people they are supposed to kill.  The sister demanding answers from the demon asked who was all on this list.  Four people were named, one of which was Tenele’s baby.  The sister then asked who is on the list to kill next? 

“Mama Kate,” came the answer.

At this point, I wasn’t understanding what was being said, but when my name was spoken, one of the sisters started crying and I felt something in the pit of my stomach. 

By this time, two hours had passed, and I was soaked in sweat. Sweat was dripping off my face and my t-shirt was stuck to my body completely wet.  Finally, the pastor who was our neighbor and had prayed the demons out of Tenele last year, came over with his wife to continue praying.  Eventually the demons became powerless over Maria’s body and then were completely gone.  Maria opened her eyes, became herself again, and then secluded herself in my room listening to my Christian music playlist for the rest of the evening. 

She didn’t remember anything that had happened, not even me coming in to yell at her and how she started crying.  After dinner, we had bible study in which Maria was present and participated; but not all was well yet.  That night, Kiley, who had sacrificed her own night of comfort to come sleep over with me (because I was a little shaken up, I mean, who wouldn’t be when you are told you’re on a list to be killed?!), asked Maria lots of questions about this cult and what was going on and why Maria was involved.  Maria freely talked about it, as if by talking about it, she was able to let it all go.  She held nothing back.  She explained how her friend Sarah had gotten her involved in 2010 and how they claim their king “yehovah” and are instructed to kill others through witchcraft.  Explaining further, she said that at night it’s her spirit that leaves her body and can go to these cult “meetings,” where they drink tea, which she said is actually drops of blood.  She believed that her chain necklace, a ring, and an earring had the power to kill others.  Yet, she knew the difference between herself and the spirit.  Maria admitted that during break she had gotten back into the demon worship and was with this Sarah nearly every day.  When Kiley asked why she was still in it, Maria answered, “Because if I leave, they will kill me.”  After telling her that was not true she stammered, “No, I’ve seen it done.  They put you in the wires.  One girl almost got killed, but she changed her mind and said she wouldn’t leave, so they let her out of the wires.”

Though we prayed with Maria and things seemed to be fine, I couldn’t sleep hardly a wink.  I tossed and prayed and turned and prayed all night.  I felt a heavy darkness over me but I just kept praying the name of Jesus and claiming his authority over me.  I was glad when light broke through at morning.

The next day, I was gone so Rachel and her mom stayed at the girls home to help watch the little ones and counsel Maria.  I got an update text from Rachel saying Maria didn’t want to stay in the house because she was afraid the demons would come back for her.  And she kept, “Sarah is coming.”  When I got home and talked to Maria about it, she said she can see that Sarah will come and that she was hearing these voices yelling at her inside her head. 

“What are they saying?” I asked.

“I don’t know…I can’t understand.  They’re just yelling,” she replied. 

So that’s when we got into a really deep and wonderful talk about the power of Jesus Christ, his love, and his blood that covers us.  I helped her realize that the demons were weak under Christ’s name and the whole reason that everything was exposed is because one of the girls claimed the authority of Christ over the demon and commanded it to talk.  That at the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, demons have to flee and people are set free.  I told her not to fear, for when she’s under the power of God nothing can touch her.

“Just like me,” I turned to look her in the eye.  “You were supposed to kill me, eh?”

“Yes,” she nodded. 

“When?”

“Your name came on the list on Friday,” she answered.

“Well, it’s Tuesday now.  Why didn’t you kill me then?”

“I don’t know,” she said quietly.

“I do,” I smiled.

She turned to me.

“Satan's mission may be to kill and destroy me.  But he can't.  You can’t.  Because the demons can’t.  Because I am covered by the blood of the Lamb, and that demon cannot harm me.  I am not afraid.  I am under the power of the Almighty, the one and ONLY true God, and demons stand no chance against Him in me.  And that can be the same for you.  If you accept God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as your true King, you, too, will be saved.  They cannot harm you.  They cannot come for you.  They cannot kill you.  But if you still refuse his name, then His blood cannot protect you.”

I continued.  “Do you think this yehovah king of the cult loves you?  Does Sarah love you?  Do these demons and other people involved love you?”

She didn’t respond.

“Do they?” I pressed.

“No,” she breathed.  “They don’t.”

“Maria, do you want to be loved? Do you know that I would give my life for you if I knew you would then be saved?  That’s love.  But guess what?  I don’t have to, because someone already did that for you and for me!  Jesus Christ, God’s one and only Son, died on the cross, pouring out his blood for YOU, that you may have life.  Satan comes only to steal, KILL, and destroy, as you know very well, but Christ is here that you may have LIFE, and have it abundantly!” (John 10:10)

Later that evening, the pastor’s wife invited Maria over to their house and she counseled Maria through Scripture and prayer.  Maria confessed everything, letting the light expose every darkness.  And with the pastor’s wife, she prayed to accept Jesus Christ as Lord of her heart and life!

We gained another victory that night, too!  Another girl came to me and confessed sin from her past.  At first, she said, “I’ve sinned greatly.  I don’t think God can forgive me for that.” 

“Honey, you are never too far out of reach for Christ’s mercy.  If Jesus on the cross can say to his murderers, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing,’ then he can surely forgive you!”

She then expressed how being raped had changed everything for her and she doubted God completely.  After being raped, she became addicted to prostituting herself, and she didn’t know how to stop.  She also didn’t believe that God could still love her after that.

“There’s a story in the Bible of Jesus forgiving a prostitute.  He tells her that she is forgiven and she should go and sin no more.  Another time, he tells the woman caught in adultery the same thing.  The people from the community drug her out to Jesus to stone her to death because according to law, she deserved death.  That’s when Jesus says his famous line, ‘You without sin can be the first to cast the stone.’  Everyone left.  When it was just Jesus and the woman, he asks who remains to condemn her, and she says, ‘No one.’  He tells her lovingly, ‘Neither do I.  Go and sin no more.’  So again, your sin is not too much for Jesus.  Not only will he forgive you, but he will heal you.  Do you want this healing?”

“Yes,” she cried.  “Yes, I do.”

So we prayed together and she invited Christ to be the King and Savior of her life!  Just last night, she led bible study (during which Maria led a worship song) and preached from her heart, saying “For the past three years I’ve been crying and crying.  I don’t show it, but my life has been tears.  Now I can see that God is with me.  I still don’t know much about God or the Bible, but I believe in Him.”

It was absolutely beautiful!  After such grave darkness, it was beautiful to dance in the light together!  For we have much to rejoice over.

We can rejoice that confession is the best exorcism!  When we confess our sins aloud, we are ridding ourselves of sin and allowing Christ to take his rightful place.  Light pierces darkness, and no matter how powerful the darkness pretends to be, it stands NO CHANCE against our God of light.  For, “our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.  Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God.  And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?” 

The battle here is really just beginning.  But that’s a blog for another time.  In the meanwhile, my prayer for you is that you too will embrace the light and ask Jesus to come into your heart and take the thrown of your life.  Let him heal your darkness.  Let him love you like you’ve never been loved before.  Let him whisper, “You are never too far gone.  You are worth it.  You are mine.  For, I have come to give you LIFE.” (John 10:10)